Jeje By Demuren (Lyrics)

INTRO:

Baby I’m a go-getter

Baby you should know better

Oh baby, I’ve been waiting for so long, for so long

 

VERSE 1

Hmm, baby common, common

Shey na the small talk wey I don talk dey make you salo, salo, salo (run away)

Omoge dakun malo, malo (Lady, please don’t go)

I dey try to sing you a love song, gbo orin maa ko, maa ko (Listen to the song I have to sing)

I recognise that you’re trying to dull me, omode yii jowo, jowo, jowo (Please, young girl)

Yea, yea, yea

This kinda feeling that I feel for you (baby girl); would you ever ever let me show you? (Oh yea)

And if you would, you should let me know, you should let me know

 

CHORUS:

And I would sing you my whole heart,

Until I show you my whole heart,

And when I’m sure that I played my part

I would wait for your reply

Dakun baby gbo temi (please baby, listen to what I’ve got to say)

Olo mi jowo se temi (My dear, do my biddings)

If na Morocco you run go, (girl) you know say I will follow you

Dakun baby gbo temi (please baby, listen to what I’ve got to say)

Olo mi jowo se temi (My dear, do my biddings)

And I would love you, love you, love you

Till you tell me love me jeje (Love me jeje oh oh)

Ahhhn…baby, baby love me jeje (Love me jeje oh oh)

Ahnnnn…baby, baby love me jeje (Love me jeje oh oh)

 

 

BRIDGE I:

Baby la le yi (Baby, tonight)

I’d be waiting for you patiently

And if you follow me

I go love you endlessly

 

Baby la le yi (Baby, tonight)

I’d be waiting for you patiently

And if you follow me

I go love you endlessly

 

Look into my eyes and tell me what you’re looking for

I’d make you realise that I’m someone you can adore

And if you think it twice it means you’re thinking back and forth

Oh why, baby no time

Take all of my love and then take a little more

I ain’t nothing like the guys you been with before

And if you’re really looking you don’t have to look no more

Because why? I’m just the guy!

 

REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE II:

Adun ma ra dan mi, baby (My black and shine baby)

I really love you; no, it’s not a maybe

And I wonder why you no go fit to see

That I love you, love you, love you baby

 

REPEAT CHORUS

(Download Jeje by Demuren.MP3 HERE)

 

 

 

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MY PASSENGERS AND I (LAGOS STYLE)

MPAI

Yes! I have definitely earned myself the award for the most inconsistent blogger of all time. I mean, this is leisure time stuff and not a source of livelihood. Maybe when the cheques start thronging in…; maybe just then I’d blog more often. Anyway, speaking about having a source of livelihood; I do a Nine to Five. The kind of one that is more like a Five to Nine.

For many of us Lagosians who work on the Island and live on the Mainland; you will agree with me that the hustle is live! Setting out before Five in the morning and a record earliest time of home returns by Nine PM. The hustle indeed is live!

As for me, I like to make the best of everything; including unpopular situations as spending a daily average of Six hours in transit to and fro my place of work. Common! In my extreme benevolence, I’d rather enjoy the beauty of Lagos  traffic and its characteristic twists, turns, outbursts, sights, sounds, outright insanity cum Gargantua gaga…….*sighs*……with a dear passenger. (Sharrat to Oga Pato!)

Here it is; the crux of this post. In my selfless yet selfish quest to find and help passengers who will in turn and unsuspectingly help me cure boredom; I have noted a few interesting kinds of passengers. Enjoy my rough compilation of personal experiences with “special passengers”.

THE QUIET FREAK

“I wish you knew how scared I am to even pick you up randomly on the tough streets of Lagos. Maybe if you had an idea, you would loosen up a bit and cough at least!” These are the words that come to my head when I get a passenger who hops in, glares straight ahead and keeps quiet the entire journey. Abegie, I helped you for a reason, come down jor!

THE DRIVING COACH

“Can you see that bike on your side?”, “Take it easy o, the speed limit here is 70Kmph”, “You forgot to trafficate when you did that turn”, “Isn’t your horn functioning?”, “Your headlamps aren’t bright enough”…

Like seriously? Even if you’re a driving instructor without basic conversation sustaining skills, just be quiet and enjoy this ride with me, buddie.

THE CHICKEN

Aunty, abeg, if you summon so much courage to ride with a stranger, you should have the same courage to face whatever style of driving the stranger adopts. It is embarrassing that someone would start pleading the blood of Jesus and speaking in tongues just because…

You know there are several things to escape from on Lagos roads, I can’t be driving slow na….*Evil Grin*…Well, I’d just take it; you never experredit!

 THE LUCK PUSHERS

Many people don’t think they push their luck too far rather, they see themselves as huge optimists. Hence, they coordinate their lives in this regard even when they hitch a ride with a total stranger. From asking favours to making outright demands; these guys could be pretty handful! On many occasions have I had people ask if I ply that route often and if they could get my phone number and become a frequent rider…amean! I remember one time a guy started changing my car stereo to the station of his choice; I was shocked!

THE NOISE MAKERS

I picked a lady up one day and she must have gotten quite disgusted at my playlist so much that she decided to start playing her own songs. Hahaha, you laughed too, right? Yes it happened and didn’t end there! After she eventually assumed some level of sanity, she stopped her music BUT proceeded to play this lousy game on her tablet. Guess what game…ZUMA!!!

I remember loud phone conversations, snoring, chewing gum blasting etc. Although, I’ve still not picked a passenger who farted aloud but smelly silent farts are some form of psychological noise sha. Just saying!

THE DIRTY RANGER

For some of us who do the cleaning of our cars by ourselves, you will agree that there is a zero-tolerance for dirt or the propensity to acquire same. Although raining seasons are the best times to help anyone with a ride and experience their sincere appreciation but is it really the best time to not get your carpets “neatly soiled”?

Plus have you helped someone who bought Gala,Lacasera, boiled egg, cashew nut, sugar cane, agbalumo etc in traffic and blessed your car with all the organic waste??? *Sighs* I have. 😦

THE CLASSIC SHE-GOAT

This last category is dedicated to this very silly woman I helped some years back. She frowned throughout the journey and reprimanded her crying baby repeatedly. By so doing, she aggravated her child’s travails. You wonder how all of these connotes “Classic She-Goat”. Wait for it, she angrily identified her destination, struggled with the door handle, came down ever more angrily and walked away. No, not even “Tha” not to talk of “Thank You”.

I’m done guys! Share your experiences. God bless.

The Little Johny Menace (“The LJM”)

Image

Guys, guys, guys! I know I’ve been out of here for too long and I always come back with loads of excuses. Well, this time wouldn’t be an exception; I have more excuses, hehehe. WORK!!! I know y’all are beautiful and nice like that and will go ahead to pardon me.

That settled, I want you to brace up for this not-too-typical post of mine. For the ladies who cannot directly relate to this and still insist on going on to read; just enjoy this knowing that the world doesn’t revolve around you on this very matter! The least you could do is to laugh about this. The best being to share with a needy male counterpart.

Some weeks back, a conversation with my friends (guys) skidded off the usual path. We moved from more topical issues like sports, politics, fashion and/ or women, to an unpopular item like The LJM. Of course, not many guys talk about this even as they face The LJM almost every other hour! In short, this post is a wrap up of the entire conversation, the coming reflections and my little additions here and there.

I can hear voices already asking what The LJM means. Guys already know. Well, maybe not all. Some over-sabi babes know sef. SO! The LJM is a state of “body-member-stiffness” experienced ONLY by the male gender, which usually shows itself unannounced.  Before I go ahead to confirm what you already know, let me introduce this refutal that contrary to your randy expectation, The LJM in this context and every letter of this innocent post isn’t the one caused by your intentional resolution to experience one.

Our minds and the several places they stray to and the wrong times they choose to, including a cold weather or the combat against sleep or sleep itself, can deal you a wholesome portmanteau of embarrassment. For some rather naive dudes who experience this menace, thinking it is a peculiar condition to them alone, kindly disabuse your mind from that silly notion. All men across the globe enjoy or suffer this menace, depending on how you choose to see it!

How to save your face in these “troublesome” times is what I intend to share with you, gentlemen. I will share three (3) tricks, the most efficient of which is The Pinch-Yourself one. I can bet that several guys reading might not have heard this before but it works! When you face a ruthless LJM and you need to get up and walk past a number of observing eyes, pinch yourself for a few seconds, especially on the thigh or anywhere around your “other” limbs before you get up. You’d be amazed to find your LJM situation repressed. Once again, I learnt this during that epic conversation!

Another reliable trick is The Hands-In-Pocket style. This one is quite notorious. Your hands in your pocket shall always form an illusion that MAY hide The LJM situation DEPENDING on the degree! Well, guys, this trick only works perfectly if you understand that by pockets, I mean your side pockets and not your back or breast pockets. I’m just saying.

If your hands are well positioned in your side pockets, you could reposition “oga at the bottom” with your hands to ease the situation and gain more comfort. Ensure that while you’re at the repositioning quest, you aren’t giving The LJM a reason to gain more power with the touch of your hands. Phewwww! No be small sumtin!

Now ladies, don’t go around having a judgemental idea about every guy you see with his hands in his pocket. Leave us to worry about our businesses! *Straight face*

The last trick I’d share in a bit is for people who fancy the culture of carrying a bag. The wonders that that bag can do cannot be overemphasized, especially at the times when The LJM stirs you down in the face. Sitting down in a public bus or whatever sort of vehicle where The LJM situation is haunting and there’s the necessity to alight and step into a sea of preying eyes, is one helluva case when you’re without an item as simple as a bag!

A bag, a tablet (wide enough though), perhaps a jacket, held across your crotch in a very tactful manner, done with a seamless smile, can practically save the day.

In all of these, might just be a fourth tip in itself, call it a bonus tip; PLAN! If you observe that you face several LJMs too frequently, you might need to plan ahead. Wearing tight fitting trousers and poor fitting underwear could be disastrous. You could plan what you want your crotch to look like, giving room for concealing a potential case of The LJM. Always remember (and I sound this with every level of sincerity) that it is not the right time to take several glances at your preferred gender (which should be a woman anyway). Take your eyes off. Let your mind go off too. Off to a safe place!

So guys, there you go! You have no reason to go around with funny looking crotches or with your heads buried in your shoulder because of your special gift and the notorious cases of LJMs it deals you. Remember, it is very rude to have an LJM case and not care who is watching or do anything about it. Learn ‘em tricks, use ‘em and share your testimonies…HEHEHE! Share more tricks if you’ve got too!

I’m out!

The Next Titan – Nigeria’s First Business Reality TV Show

tnt

Here’s one good reason to look forward to the weekends nowadays!

For the first time, Nigerian television is centred on young business people and how they go through the challenges of entrepreneurship and business.

The top 16 contestants come from across the country and their businesses are as diverse as they are. However, they have one thing in common, they are all out to win the top prize of 5 million Naira, a brand new car and lasting business support from some of Nigeria’s top business moguls.

It is a Herculean battle…

The youngest contestant is Jubril Juma who at 22 wants to start up a road traffic monitoring system to help you make better route decisions as you commute, while the oldest is 35-year-old Williams Oti from Rivers state who has a plan to start-up a talent school and help young people turn their talents into skill and business.

Also on the show, meet Izizi Okpala who is interested in making your gadgets look beautiful and Tunji Akande who’s jewelry pieces will blow you away. As a matter of fact, you’ll find some of his pieces on the necks, wrists and ankles of several of the contestants, including Tobechi Nneji who is an On Air personality with 92.5 Enugu’s Dream FM. She has the plan to start up a trade and PR fair in South Eastern Nigeria.

Every week, watch how the contestants work their way through tasks, slug it out in the boardroom and sometimes, turn on their ‘best friends’ in the race to win.

16 contestants from all around the country…13 weeks of friendship, rivalry, love, drama, quarrels and money making…13 weeks of business….one big winner

Get a favourite housemate…support your favourite idea…learn the intricacies of entrepreneurship.

Catch the show, every weekend on the following channels

–          Channels TV (DSTV 234) 8pm – 9pm Saturdays

–          OnTv 6pm – 7pm Sundays

Visit www.thenexttitan.blogspot.com , www.thenexttitan.com to read more about the contestant and  follow @thenexttitan and  the tag #TitanNG on twitter for quick information and some behind-the-scene gist from the show and the google hangout with some of the contestants.

Vote for your favourite contestant via SMS- text ‘Titan’ (space) ‘Contestant’s name’ to 33352. SMS’ cost N50 each. 

Wickeed Stones CEO at the next titan show.

Image

Who remembers the young handsome jeweler featured on MPW lifestyle buzz some months back, Olatunji Akande? (Click here to find the post if you missed it.) Good! He has been selected to strut his stuff at the latest Nigerian entrepreneurial reality TV show – The Next Titan.

He is up against fifteen (15) other young entrepreneurs contending for support and investments in their businesses.

Catch Tunji on:

Fridays – MiTV– 7:30 – 8:30pm (DSTV Ch. 256)

Saturdays – Channels TV – 8:00-9:00pm (DSTV Ch. 254)

Sundays – ONTV – 6:00 – 7:00pm

You will be updated on voting processes soonest!

Send your goodwill messages to Tunji on facebook and on twitter.

Good luck Tunji!

Certificates Vs Experience

thinking

Hello Beautiful Readers,

On this one, I’m craving your indulgence on the subject matter. A worried reader wrote to me about this question on the minds of numerous youths. Those who have come along way through various walls of learning only to discover that there is still more too learn.

She wrote thus:

Dear MrProlifeeq,                              

Although,I’ve been following your blog (the few posts you find time to post,that is), I hardly comment, so  I’d like to say, good job so far.

I’m kinda confused about a particular area in career advancement and I’ll appreciate it if you could share this with your readers.          

Should one gather as many qualifications as possible before getting a job? Or is it better to wait till there’s a job before getting needed and relevant qualifications?

This has been on my mind since the Dangote truck drivers saga and I would love to hear/see people’s views on it.

Thanks

Please make contributions. You just might be saving a generation!

Counting Down To Zero

zeroSalute,

Beloved MPW readers, like you must have noticed, a number of my posts are inspired by things that have lingered in my mind for a while which I end up sharing. This post is no exception. It is another product of my often busy mind. This time however, the thoughts are an extension of my previous post (which you can find HERE).

Very many times when we live nowadays, we just live. Oblivious of many thoughts that should be considered by the second. We just live. You will understand why I think this in a bit.

Sometimes ago, on one of these nose-poking platforms they call social networks, I met this old acquaintance and quickly we started chatting away like we are not mere acquaintances in real life!

All seemed fine until the “What do you do now?” question popped up – of course from me. For a while there was no response to that and when there was one eventually, there wasn’t anything reasonable to hold on to. With all the scattered responses of; “Just chilling”, “I’m doing fine”, “Nothing much, really” and the likes; I guessed, very strongly, that there could be a little shortfall in my expectation of how far this person should have come.

Then I thought to myself, why did I need to know in the first place? I can imagine that a number of people reading this are wondering too! “Bros Prolifeeq, wetin be your own consign,kwa?”*  Quite seriously though, the only reason my mind could come up with is that I needed to assess this person to assess myself. In all sincerity, that was quite it.

In today’s society, many things are expected from one at the attainment of a certain age. In your youth, the minimum expectation of success will translate into academic excellence and/or a decent source of sustenance. Harnessing talents, ideas, skills and the likes – All these inclusive.

Errrm, I just might be wrong. It seems success has taken a new turn. As soon as your life savings can buy you a smart phone, some skinny jeans trousers and a few colourful baseball hats – Alas! Success! For a lady, maybe when you can afford(or get a “sponsor” ) to buy several varieties of human hair, huge bags,numerous  colour blocking “gadgets” and all sorts of material stuff. Hmmm, if excitement has begun for as many that fit into this description, thinking this indeed is it; this piece isn’t really for your specie.

For as many value driven minds and people with remarkable purpose; let us converge in thoughts and have this refreshing discuss. What might we term success to be? A means to an end or an end in itself? A destination or a daily sojourn? A trophy or a feeling of fulfillment? Many questions, isn’t it? Here are some more – What point will you reach before you call yourself successful? With what yardstick do you measure success? Why do you want to be successful?

You will realize that as we attempt to give sincere answers to these thought provoking questions; many personal oversights, wrong assumptions and misplaced priorities begin to surface. We will observe too that for more moments than otherwise, we lose sight of our personal objectives (if we have any, anyway)

The case is usually about us subscribing to a bandwagon of money making as against steadily pushing one’s self to the paramount level of self actualization and fulfillment.

Of course, it is important to pay the bills and possess a sufficient capacity to do same but not at all cost. As far as I am concerned, I blame the overwhelming rise and rise of frustration on desperation. For everyone that will beg to differ with the argument that one needs to be dogged, hardworking, tireless and persevering; we all know the sort of desperation I’m talking about here. Let us not skid off the main point.

At the times when desperation eats deep into your skin and you find “anything” which is not that “something” that you will rather be engaged in; frustration creeps in. The processes in working out that “anything” becomes unnatural, clumsy and pretty bumpy! One will be caught up in an unending rat race, most certainly!

Just so that success wouldn’t be a case of “almost there” for us all, we need to stop for a moment to ask ourselves all these questions again. Some sort of reality check; you might want to call it!

Many reasons why people want to succeed these days are pitiable. Let it not be for show off or for public display: Will you still have a reason to want to be successful?

The interpretation of success that the media of today portrays it as, is one more reason why priorities are voluntarily misplaced. The rate at which people channel useful energy and/or resources to irrelevance is quite a pointer to  this.

The idea is this – Personal examination and proper comprehension of one’s strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats should inform every motive to want to grow, develop, expand and succeed. Very simply put. Otherwise, the rat race will continue without a medal for it. Considering that no one ever sees the end of a rat race, anyway!

Whichever way time reveals itself to you, slow or pacy; make the best use of it…for your good. Remember, what is not good is bad, just saying. Set standards, set limits, be purposeful, be committed, be contented, be positive, be hopeful, be original and in all things; be you!

When every activity you engage yourself in culminates to your overall satisfaction (not at the detriment of someone else, anyway); you will discover you are on an automatic cruise control to greatness.

Live life beautifully so that tears and a sack full of unpleasant memories do not characterize your last days. Choose to enjoy and end life’s sojourn with a huge smile!

~MrProlifeeQ~

N.B

“Bros Prolifeeq, wetin be your own consign,kwa?” – This means; “Why are you concerned, MrProlifeeq”

Dear Readers,

I hope it was a refreshing read.

Kindly air your views about your understanding of success and the topic of discuss at large.

Thanks for sharing knowledge always!

The Way We Quietly Grow Old

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The new Boeing 787 Dreamliner can carry about 250 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2012. If it were a Dreamliner, it would take about 7 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Lifestyle Buzz – Wick≡≡d Stones by Olatunji Akande

“Crafts make us feel rooted, give us a sense of belonging and connect us with our history. Our ancestors used to create crafts out of necessity, and now we do them for fun, to make money and to express ourselves.” – Phyllis George.

Truly, one fine gentleman has found love for crafts. Olatunji Akande never imagined what would become of his newly found hobby when he started stringing beads. To learn of what he has grown this hobby into, is not quite surprising. His fashionable nature furnishes sufficient reason to this.

Wick≡≡d stones by Olatunji Akande has  become a statement of style, class and an addition to the world of urban fashion. His brilliant choice of stones, exquisite designs and appeal are absolutely covetable. Whatever size, shape or colour; you will find an interesting piece to beautifully complement your style. Enjoy these interesting pictures of Tunji’s wealth of creativity.

Catch more pictures of  Olatunji Akande’s creations on his facebook page or on twitter.

To place orders, kindly contact:

T: +234-1-802-9452685, +234-1-706-2429010

E: akande_olatunji@yahoo.com

BlackBerry Logo :294C1F54

GO GRAB YOURS; I GOT MINE ALREADY!!!

MPW Buzz-o-nality – Ms. ‘Tobi Wangboje

 

Red Jacket screams; FIERCE but this is a far cry from who the MPW buzz of the moment is. Laid back, silky and fun loving young lady; hails from the South Western part of Nigeria. With a seemingly nonchalant attitude she finds her way around everyday living and gets away with it with a smile on her face. Usually spotted with her ears plugged and her soul cheering to some deep tunes. She is a heavy lover and critic of soul, alternative, intelligently written urban rap and Nigerian music. With a university degree in European Studies; if you guess that she might be fun to have a witty conversation with, then you probably have not guessed wrong.

She considers herself a happy-go-lucky person who might snap at crap ONLY at the height of provocation. When asked what drives her to want to succeed, she goes; “I just wanna be successful!”

As a pastime she loves watching movies, listening to music, reading books (of course this has to be a pastime for every cool girl) and having her space. Yes, she loves her personal moments when she draws inward and is left alone to just breathe. Ms Tobi enjoys going out and meeting people. According to her; “I don’t really have a favourite hang-out spot. As long as I’m with my friends, I’m good!”

For the belly; soda,waffles, chocolates, ice cream, cakes, cookies and candies are a few of her favourite things. As much as it is evident that she has a sweet tooth, she adores her AMALA moments even more! (Amala wey she nor fit cook o!) One begins to wonder how she stays trim with these calories. It might be a rigorous work out schedule, did you say? Well, it is not. She does no such thing! I call her LUCKY!

 

 

With an ambition to want to be an OAP (On-Air Personality), you can imagine that she lives the life already. A walk into her closet will confirm this. As easy going as she gets, she dresses the part too. This charming Queen’s college alumna enjoys comfy outfits and might be spotted more often in denim pants than in skirts and dresses. Plus, if you ever perceive the beautiful mix of the Narciso Rodriguez cologne, you just might have the elegant Ms Tobi somewhere around you!

Not much of an “internet person” but Tobi still manages to secure some decent cyber-space for herself.  For the brothers with a huge appetite, this is the best I can do for you! Click HERE to find her on twitter and HERE for her facebook page. Good luck guys and yea, you stand a chance!!! :X 😀 Well, maybe not…anyways, deuces!!!

 

 

 

The Thin Line between Love and a Little Less.

ImageHi esteemed MPW readers…Yes, yes I know this is coming too long after the last post was pressed. Yes, I also understand how much you expect a more frequent pressing. I will blame nothing for this drag. Not even my village teacher job; as I have been less of that lately. I will just hope you see this apology as sincere and accept it – I am sorry.

With that much said, this post looks ready to sail. Oh, before then…For many of you who will wonder after a few lines down… Is he? Could he be…? NO, I’m not a love doctor! You can learn more of who I am HERE.

For everyone who has or intends to get stung by the love bug; this is for you. And no! I do not mean those who are in the P-setting leagueneither the ones who merely enjoy sex with whoever and term the relationship whatever; nor the little lads and lasses exploring all they can- No thanks to Mr. Puberty.

This is for the ones who love, love to love and love that they are in love with whom they love! It is for those who intend to love forever and have taken/ will take the necessary steps to see that forever it is and shall be- Did someone say marriage?

Some might think that talking about the nature of love in relation to a bug and its sting or any other factor that connotes pain is some sort of blasphemy to the sweet theme of love. You mean this love? This sweet love??? Very well then, deceive yourself with the fairy tale adaptation of what love is and what it is not. When you’re done, come back to real life. For real life is where we are at and here, love is a nicely concocted syrup of pain and pleasure. Hello?

Many of us will rather hold on to the dimension love takes when all is pleasurable. When all is seemingly rosy and the partner dishes all the love you require in more-than-satisfactory portions- Just how you like it!

You know…The summer time getaways; the evening walks with the boo; breakfast in bed; sensational romance; bedroom costumes, whips and handcuffs (No Violence!); stolen kisses; pillow fights; amiable indoor moments; exquisite dinners and all the idea of a perfectly working relationship that Hollywood(Nollywood too…or Bollywood for those who like to sing and dance) sells to us. Of course these moments are very important but what happens when the cute little cookie crumbles?

We need to constantly accept that in between all these pleasurable times, some events will quietly or sometimes suddenly crumble the cookie. When the cookie is badly hit, do you trample and jump on it like a wild chimpanzee? Would you do that till it becomes impossible to restore the cookie image? Dear friend, this is one way to NOT achieve “forever together”.

I know (indeed, I do) that it is normal for things to go wrong from time to time yet, very surprising when these shifts occur! I mean, a moment ago it was all cuddly fuddly** and then BAM!!!, the boo does it! You know that moment when you are disappointed in them. You just stare in dismay, make a transition to your alter ego and then dish out an annihilating combo of: PUNCH SLAP KICK KICK SLAP BITE PUNCH UPPERCUT …TWO FINGERS IN THE EYES AAAAAAAAND SPIT! Of course, all of these should play out in your mind. Oo ni fe te noooow***

Afterwards, when you resign to your corner of the room; in your sober moments when you try to comprehend what had happened, ensure you stay constructive and real with yourself. The end thereof should bring the cookie back to shape. This should be the mindset as long as the relationship in itself is not a threat to life or a platform for life-threatening abuse. Remember, this is for people in healthy relationships- With a dogged and working “forever together” mission.

When your partner drops a wrong word; takes a wrong foot forward or backward; takes you for granted; shows some carelessness or insensitivity; forgets anniversaries that you cherish(kudos to the female folks and their date-remembering gift); talks down on you; ignores you; disappoints you; damages your  x-box or any of OUR toys(yea guys, we do this!); becomes irritable, edgy, grouchy and not forthcoming; disinterested in you and the big one…wait for it…cheats on you. What do you do?

Not at all, I’m not answering that …that is a question left to you to answer. Why you? Really? Yes, you because you are an active partner in your relationship. You should know for yourself. Didn’t you find yourself mature enough to be in a relationship in the first place? Voila! Employ that “maturity”, guide yourself back to your happiness and get back on your feet (or on your boo *winks*); back in love!

These times when you feel a little less love (watch how I use this expression instead of HATE?) for your partner are as important as the times when all is well too. If you don’t know, there is such thing as a “good fight”. These moments are fantastic opportunities to learn about yourself, your partner and the relationship. It is a course to ensure that fantasies have not become facades or a one-party thing. It can help rediscover that a rich reserve of passion still exists in your lives together.

Like you otherwise think, a good fight occasionally translates into that necessary spice required for a relationship which might be unsuspectingly losing its savour. It usually ends with the thought: “I never knew I loved (and still love) you this much”.

If you think this sounds easier than it is in real life; I will advise that you take a more crucial evaluation of your relationship. Something bigger than “the issue” might as well be the problem. My opinion is; the previous hurt makes the next hurt harder to live through. A wider perspective of this is; the previous hurt (left unattended to and/or found no relief) makes the next hurt harder to live through. Remember again, this is for people in healthy relationships -With a dogged and working “forever together” mission.

For every event of disappointment and the consequential hurt felt, strive to sort it out. Find relief and get over it so that every other case of such will be peculiar and so dealt with. Never soak up these things only to explode later. Never let issues go without addressing them only to refer to them in future. This is not healthy living. Talk these things through and get over them. You should also learn the golden skill of letting things slide (especially trivial ones) from time to time. REALLY!!!

At this juncture, I find it safe to advise that as you continue with this post, you will not find any ready-made tips or lists on how to manage yourself in these times or how best to swing back to the sweet moments. No, I’ll be doing no such thing. This is because I find these tips too theoretical, sometimes complex to follow through without snuffing out the uniqueness in the personalities involved. Personal opinion it is. Successful relationships are not sustained by people who have become what a writer/researcher must have enumerated for them but by people who have “worked out” what works for them. People who have come to realize what keeps them in a bond of sheer happiness and go by it, religiously.

In the gloom of any challenge, do not caress the problem any further. Spend time understanding and discussing the cause. Ensure you mutually arrive at a bespoke manner of keeping the gloom busted, killed and buried. You want to stay happy together, don’t you? Yea, so don’t give in to endless grief and the mother of all-Depression. Forget the event; take the choice. The choice is to stay happy and uhhhhmmm…to get back to all the cute, sweet, pleasurable, amorous, naughty and yori-yori**** things lovers do! Together!

NB:

* Today’s word for something longer than a fling but less serious than a relationship- I just call it a fling anyway.

**This word is invisible in the English dictionary :p

***Yoruba (a language spoken in western Nigeria) for: “You really don’t want to do that and get hurt.”

****A colloquial term for love in Nigeria. Made famous by Bracket in their hit single; “Yori Yori“.

Dooms Day

Your doom starts on the day you choose to enjoy the glory you have not earned.

Blessed to be Black

Far into my dauntless history,
came cries of lasting freedom.
Now that I come face to face with victory,
fearlessly,I doth reign on my kingdom.

No more tears in our eyes,
‘cos our tears had been long cried.
No more fears in our lives.
‘cos our fears;we buried when it died.

It is that part of me that is jungle,
firmly,keeping me going.
With leisure,I tackle my struggles,
a result of my black grooming.

Black,the power.
Ebony,the skin.
Black,the colour.
The totem,right within.

If to this world again;
I doth come back,
bring me not in vain,
Eledumare,keep me black.

•Matters Arising•

Beautiful greetings to my esteemed MPW(mrprolifeeq.wordpress) readers and enthusiasts. I can tell many of you have checked within the past week for any new posts by me(Judging by the number of clicks/hits recorded). Regrettably, I’ve been unable to churn out any new material, owing to the stressful nature of my “noble” job as a village teacher.

Preparing these ‘wonderful’ pupils for the year’s promotional examination, is not something I’d have thought to be this exhausting. Nevertheless, I’m glad the end of it is nigh.

In the past week(plus some few days) however, I had quite a number of things to wonder about, many of which I wish to bore you all with. As you take dressing to the edge of your seats and grab yourselves a hot bowl of popcorn; I ‘urge’ you not to expect too much! It is only a playful attempt to present a collage of my thoughts within that time line.

Many of the issues that made headline in the past week have been quite a bother. Nothing came across as good news. Bomb blasts rocked our hearts with fear; the rain came pouring without mercy and rendered many homeless and we are still at sea as to what services Mr. Lawan rendered to Mr. Otedola to earn such a mouth-watering reward.

Now take a cruise through my ponder-pattern and try to put a date to the time when this ‘Giant of Africa’ will score well in something positive. Was that exercise futile? It sure must have been.

Now that the present occurrences aren’t palatable and the future is relatively unknown, I sought succour in the events of the recent past. I tried to cast my mind back to the last time Nigeria had a collective reason to genuinely celebrate. I wanted to bask in the euphoria of that thought but that too was a herculean task.

Maybe on the cross over from military rule to democracy or Atlanta ’96. Perhaps, the death of the much dreaded dictator. I mean, could we have been a pretty sad nation for more than a decade?

I kept wondering what question I could ask that has not been asked before and left unanswered. So I chose to wrap that worry about Nigeria in a folder and toss to ‘recycle bin’. Somewhere I could always restore for use whenever the need arises.

With mixed feelings did I also worry about the depressing scheme called; NYSC(National Youth Service Corps). I can already imagine how majority in the number of past and present corps members will readily second my qualification of the scheme as so.

Agreed, it was established to create a platform for qualifying youths to appreciate other cultures and beliefs but can the logistics be played out safely?
If the government claims its intention is to foster national unity; I consider that very ‘noble’. However, at whose expense and at what cost will this trivial goal be executed.

From the simple knowledge of Cost-Benefit Analysis, it is glaring that the government is funding a white elephant project.

Today, NYSC is a major outlet from the pool of the nation’s economic resources. The ‘benefit’ of which doesn’t add up to the GDP of the country; not even by a decimal. Rather it has become an avenue for certain persons to enrich their lots on a ‘batchly’ basis.

The insensitivity of the leaders of this scheme to deploy helpless youths to crisis-prone areas of the country added to the list of my worries. *Sighs* “But why?” “Why evils?”.
Well, I’m glad that is sorted now, so I’d swiftly hit the delete button on that.

Being a serving member of the scheme; I had craved the end of it even before the beginning. I thought I was just being a spoilt brat but four(4) months down the line, my experience couldn’t have buttressed my cravings any better. Like I stated earlier, I’m a village teacher(against my will *sobs*). Worse still, in a remote, obscure, “naa,this-village-can’t-be-in-the-map”,”if-I-take-a-leap-from-this-village-I-just-might-land-in-Mars”, “end-of-the-world” village. *Phew*
(Don’t even ask about electricity or portable water *straight face*)

I’m getting used to worrying about how to live here for the next eight(8) months but I’m more worried by the extent of neglect this village has suffered. Especially the little ones. These kids learn under bizarre conditions and by very ridiculous methods. The stench that exudes from their ramschackled classroom blocks, constantly milks my guts.

Teaching a class of about eighty(80) students, where a little less than a quarter will understand a thing or two I have to say; I wonder…Who am I serving? It is that way, not because I’m a bad teacher but I’d have had some better impact only if I could speak their local language.

It is necessary I inform you that these students are openly aided during examinations, so I wonder again…Who am I serving?

*Whew!* Before this post becomes a really sad one, let me let you all into the beautiful things this village has to offer…*Scratching my head*…not so much really.
The host community is a very warm one and the cost of living is relatively cheap! And yea, I’ve picked a few words in Ibibio. At least, now I can tell my girlfriend how much I love her in one more language. Mmo ma fi eti eti, ima mi!

Detunji Demuren

MIRROR OR GLASS: WHO DO YOU SEE?-II

Greetings to all!
I’m overly excited by the followership this blog has garnered within a short span of time. I appreciate every clicking finger and every viewing eye. I also appreciate the many that shared, retweeted, liked and posted links to this blog(not forgetting the reviews and comments). You all have been a source of heartfelt joy.

My previous post accentuated the need to fence the mind off lurking predators and to allow access to the very few that merit such privilege. Consequently, the question as to WHO deserves such privilege arose. This post however, is a personal attempt to proffer answers to that question as promised.

I therefore, introduce to all(in no particular order); MY list of 10 YARDSTICKS TO DETERMINE WHO DESERVES THE MIRROR YOU OR THE GLASS YOU:

1. NATURE OF THE RELATIONSHIP:
This yardstick is almost all encompassing, as it carefully deals with all classes of relationships. Hence, the reason for its volume.

The need for establishing several levels of relationship can not be over-emphasised, as humans can not function wholly in their individual cocoons.

Relationships kept with family, friends, neighbours, acquaintances, associates, colleagues etc., are essential in their own rights but vary in extent of dealings.

It is important to properly understand “the place” and relevance (or otherwise) of every person with whom we might have one reason to relate with or the other.

•COLLEAGUES/ ASSOCIATES:
Every business you have with a colleague (especially at work) should be strictly business. A formal relationship should be kept with such individuals. This set of people deserve the mirror you to a large extent.

Maintaining the mirror you does not necessarily translate into being unpleasant or rude but with a friendly countenance, you can properly conceal your personal thoughts. I bet you must have noticed how a “colleague-turned-close buddie” relationship usually ends on a sore note.

•ACQUIANTANCES:
This class of individuals are usually uninterested in the boring details of our lives. They are contented with the “hi and bye” exchange. For as long as they remain in this class, they deserve nothing but the mirror you. (There is no mincing words about it)

•FRIENDS:
In the activities of everyday living, certain people (different from family) earn their spots in our hearts as dear. The mutual affection shared is sometimes deeper than that shared with family. What is life without friends- good friends?

Yes, that’s the twist. There are good ones and bad ones. Funny enough, these bad ones usually started off as good! The joke would be on whoever finds it difficult to discern who deserves what between this dichotomy.

It is from this circle however, that the dilemma of choosing who determines the mirror you or the glass you emerges. An attempt to ease the severity of this dilemma is what paves way for the emergence of these nine(9) other yardsticks.

2. FLIPPANT Vs CONFIDANT:
A secret is no longer one when it is shared with another. Don’t be surprised at how fast it becomes hot gist on the tongues of many when it is divulged to an unrepentant flippant(I call them “Idle Talk Generals”). Friends who find it relatively easy to go on about irrelevance(with so much skill) do not deserve anything better than the mirror you. Express your mind to only those who have that confidant pedigree(at your own discretion).

3. EGO TUSSLE:
People with complex issues usually want to learn about you to gauge their ego. They scavenge for information only to assume their elements. Such people show respect to people they know less about. This “respect” drops as they equip themselves with details of one’s life. Deal with this crop of people accordingly. They usually deserve the mirror you.

4. ANTICIDENTS:
A lot of events shape our perception of others. A vital basis for determining who deserves the mirror you or the glass you is the events of the past.
When a friend is noticed to be inconsistent in showing affection and in conduct(a come and go friend); you stand a chance of getting hurt if you keep showing the glass you.

5. LEVEL OF TRUST BUILT:
What is friendship without trust? When trust is earned, be sure to harmonise your definition of trust with that of whoever you are trusting. Sometimes, an expectation gap(in the definition of trust) might ruin a seemingly rosy relationship. Care and caution is highly required in releasing personal and/or sensitive matters, solely on the basis of trust.

6. THE ISSUE IN QUESTION:
Have you ever wondered why you piloted a conversation(with whoever) towards a certain topic? Did you repeatedly hit your head against the wall afterwards?
Very many points of discuss are mostly unnecessary. Somethings are too much(sensitive) to share with another within the friends zone. Such issues should permanently hide behind the mirror you.

7. A MEANS TO AN END:
A purpose should be drawn at any level of discuss. We share ideas or thoughts when in search for knowledge, at the emergence of a “what-to-do” situation, to communicate feelings and perhaps, for recreation.
Be careful to establish that while you are sincerely letting off issues about your life for advice or admonishing; you are not an item of recreation for the other.
Purposes of discuss should properly align. Reach the “destination” of a conversation safely!

8. DYNAMO EFFECT:
Caution(abi precaution sef) should be taken in a relationship kept with friends, mutual friends and friends of mutual friends. Otherwise, a lush avenue for “dem say dem say” would be created.
There is no better way of explaining the “dynamo effect” than the dynamo itself. Just a friend can pull down a pack. Be careful who you say what to in this circle. It takes effort. Take it anyway. It pays off.

9. RULE OF THUMB:
(This is actually a disclaimer…hehehe)
As humans and not robots, we can not singularly exist by following rules and guidelines to daily existence. We should allow(very naturally) the play of our discretion, judgement, convictions and wits.
Once a while, enjoy your adventurous self and throw caution to the wind. (You’re on your own when talk show face from back…Yorùbá speakers; roger that!)
Choose the pattern with which your mind is accessed and assessed in the best way that suits you. After all, it is all about you.

10. POINT NUMBER 10:
I can also learn from you too! 😀 Let me in on what you consider a yardstick to determining who deserves the mirror you or the glass you.

However, I’d love to end this post with the yorùbá proverb that says; “Ti a ba n’se ore, a ma n’fi aye ojo ija si’le.”
(Translation: We should envisage and properly cater for the sore moments in friendship from the inception of such friendship.)

N.B:
I appreciate the time spent to read this post and I hope it was worthwhile.

Writing this sequel and the first instalment was an eye opener for even myself. I sincerely appreciate everyone who pushed for a swift pressing of this post.

Kindly share with friends. Keep sharing knowledge!

Detunji Demuren

MIRROR OR GLASS: WHO DO YOU SEE?

My first day at work was filled with the usual chills of observing the new environment, getting introduced as the “new guy” (always very awkward) and learning about my job description to the detail and in the environment where it is required. Oddly, the event in that day that still replays very freshly in my mind was my visit to the gents.

After taking a twinkle and washing my hands, I looked to the mirror to ensure I was okay to exit the room. There I began a journey into a wilderness of my own thoughts; solely initiated by the signage glued to the mirror. It read; “The man in the mirror is responsible for his own safety.”
I stood numb in front of the mirror for a minute too many, pondering at a billion-thoughts-per-second pace. When I came around, I discovered the interesting nature of the mirror and its interplay with the human mind.

Considering that I walked into the room through a semi-opaque glass door that I had no fascination for whatsoever; I confidently postulate that a mirror stands to be of a better VALUE than a mere glass. Thus, a mirror is an upgrade of an ordinary glass by the reflective “shield” behind it. It would effectively serve the purpose of a glass and an additional purpose of reflecting images.

As it is common knowledge that only valuable items are worthy of being secured against destruction, abuse or devaluation; so should be the HUMAN MIND.
The human mind seats in the nucleus of the soul and dictates the quality of the will, intellect and emotions of its host. It is indeed an object of value; a well spring of life’s essence- YOU ARE YOUR MIND!

With that much said about its significance, it is instructive to NOT, as the ordinary glass; subject the mind to the innumerable eyes seeking its devastation. Take up the appearance of the mirror and adorn your mind’s corridors with a reflective shield which throws the viewers into an abysmal realm of searching.

Have you ever had that friend, colleague, associate or relative that you find boring, predictable or sometimes repulsive? (You are imagining some persons that fit this profile, right?) I put it to you that your judgement of them as such is not unconnected to how they had left their minds to the vulnerability of your examining eyes. We lose interest in people because of how much we know about them and our usually-accurate prediction of their speech, silence, actions and inactions.

When we personify the ordinary glass; we stand the risk of bearing the “see-through” status and suffering a universe of consequences including;
*being taken for granted (wholly or partly),
*being considered boring and repulsive,
*smearing an aura of provocation all over one’s self,
*losing beneficial relationships and ties,
*being predictable and susceptible to danger,
*constant verbal and/or physical abuse, etc.

In the down times of our lives(which is the part the world enjoys learning about-Sad but true), we should learn to climb back up the hill without showing the world how those moments must have pummelled our inner man. Enjoy the monopoly of that information and forge ahead! Like I learnt; only a few people sincerely care about your worries, a little more than that number show concern for the fulfilment they feel knowing about your peril and a larger chunk do not give a damn! So, pose your minds as mirrors; reflecting the wisdom or otherwise of the peering eyes. Leave them to demystify the contents and watch how your essence grows.

Of course, no one should earn the reputation of a shut system, detached from the world and the many virtues it avails. Let the mind be carefully garrisoned but only open to the very few necessary people at your own discretion.

It takes conscious effort to determine who(within the friends zone) deserves to be shown the “mirror you” or the “glass you”; as close family members and loved ones should enjoy the glass side.(for that amiable co-existence due to their category) CAUTION: From time to time, let them “enjoy” the mirror side to rekindle the interest!

Therefore, as we continue towards the height of self actualization, let us stay relevant while we are at it: Keeping our minds safe. After all, it is the fountain from whence cometh the issues of life.

N.B:
I hope this post served as light to the darkness of ignorance and/or revealed new dimensions to seemingly established perceptions. I humbly implore all to contribute to the endless quest of knowledge by linking personal experiences to this topic of discuss. Either to buttress established view points or to disagree.

More excitingly, please look forward to the post sequel to this, for; “10 YARDSTICKS TO DETERMINE WHO DESERVES THE MIRROR-YOU OR THE GLASS-YOU.”

Keep supporting the light; keep supporting knowledge!

Detunji Demuren

Sweet Mischief: A Little Too Much of It?

Sweet Mischief: A little too much of it?
Many of us find pleasure in reminiscing about our childhood days and the many events that characterized same. A number of these memories leave huge grins on our faces or sometimes lure us into an involuntary outburst!
For some of us who had our childhood in the years before the widespread availability of modern day technology, the “you-can-stay-indoors-and-have-fun-all-by-yourself” era and its enabling gadgets; I’m sure an avalanche of memories has already overwhelmed your thoughts. The sweetest of these memories however, couldn’t be anything short of mischief- YES, MISCHIEF!
Before I go on, can we all reach a consensus that there are some pranks that kids could skim and play out that can safely pass as “sweet mischief”? Those in support say; “YEA!”; those against say; “NAY!” *Looks around and clears throat* Wow,what a mischievous bunch you all are!
The inexhaustible list of “sweet mischief” we contributed to as children spanned from; a-football-game-renders-the-neighbour’s-glass-broken scene, to the naughty classroom pranks aimed at teachers and gullible colleagues(I’m still surprised at the almost infinite number of this breed) and on to the famous(or infamous…depending on the perspective of the players or their parents!) “Daddy and Mummy” game YOU all enjoyed playing *nudge nudge; wink wink*… I never played or liked that game sha! *adjusting halo*
MOVING ON!!! It is never the case of a smile or chuckle when we remember such memories as of some kids who took/take pleasure in expanding their craft of mischief beyond the parameters of what can be considered; “sweet”.
I once had this neighbour who loved to share with anyone and everyone how stubborn her male child was or is.(deliverance fit don make am change sha)
She had nothing better to speak of her son and he lived up to the hype very consistently! Before his fifth christmas, he had undergone two(2) major orthopaedic procedures and had lost a milk incisor to his stubbornness! Although, I’m unaware of what he has eventually turned to be but I can imagine what he might have become if only he grew worse.
When the behaviour of your child is continuously characterised by aggressiveness; such a child should be kept under “surveillance” and steps should be taken to salvage the situation.
Experts in child care speak of various measures to be taken to manage such class of children BUT I advice that they are adopted and administered intelligently as no two challenges can be perfectly alike. These steps may include;
*checking their mental health,
*observing new habits and tracing the source of same,
*spending more time with them,
*to never allow a communication gap between you and them,
*organising family outings and getaways….works like magic!
*to always emphasise proper etiquette,
*rewarding good behaviour and actions reasonably,
*to find and administer commensurate punishment for wrong deeds,
*punishments should be creative and geared towards developing the child,
*smartly ignoring attention seeking children(where necessary),
*to desist from unnecessary beating and/or yelling. It never really works (didn’t work for you sef, remember?)
*to seek proper and professional counsel.
(Please applaud me for generating this list as I’ve never had or catered to a child before!) *taking a bow*

In my opinion, parents and guardians owe their children and wards the much freedom they require for them to have a childhood(lest they search for it in their adulthood….small pun intended) but paramountly, owe the society the duty to check the affairs of their young ones and ensure that every mischief they might be up to will conveniently and generally pass as sweet and acceptable.
A number of homes have suffered and are suffering from what I term; “the black sheep syndrome” and many of these children are left to explore beyond the circumference of “sweet mischief”. They eventually decay at an almost-unnoticeable rate of retrogression.
Today, our world is filled with adults who needed special attention (Attention to the very little things) in their childhood but didn’t get. If you are wondering what these adults may have become; ponder no more. Just turn on your televisions, check the internet space, read newspapers and periodicals, put an ear to your radio or take a walk through the dark alleys. Then you will learn about the millions of persons who choke the earth of its peace. The ones once left to enjoy a little more than sweet mischief.

Allow the peep: You called for it.

The paparazzi wouldn’t mind an unhealing blister on their forefinger just to catch your next move on camera,they trail you to your closet and they are not done yet,it gets worse as your life gets better,that’s the life you chose!
Ever had a pause moment to ponder on what life in the spotlight means or translates into? It is,most often than not,more difficult than the rigours of trying to get into it.
Lights,camera,action,fans,friends,family(if you ever have time for them),your past,present and future,projects,legacies,scandals and more scandals;the list is endless.
If you EVER(yes,I stressed the word “EVER”) have a personal life,it is still difficult to untangle your other half,it is like a plate of scrambled eggs,pretty hard to unscramble! You are completely drenched in thoughts of what next step to take to keep you,relevantly in business. As time progresses,the fans demand better flavour,better put;more value for their monies.
A few years ago,you were a voice crying in the wilderness,you had the kind of life which now,with every sense of remorse,you crave for. Its a far cry from what obtains now,even your whisper would be aired.(respect to the ying-yang twins)
Wait a moment,let’s drag ourselves to the inner chambers of conscience and come out real with one another,can an entertainer have a private life? Whatever offset of the entertainment industry you belong to;music,film or comedy,it is pretty hard to entertain your fans just well enough! Apart from your act on stage or the various aspects of your showbiz,they will rather have a little more.
Ironically,the “little more” in their perspective is that nerve-wrecking bit you just might want to escape. When smiling is the last thing on your mind, they would,very sweetly,force you to wear one,demand to take pictures,some even want to have a chat,better if they kept it short,some people just go on and on. To any head liner, his enthusiasts are more like strangers, but in the hearts of the fans, he is warmly adored and felt closer than a brother.
The other day, I was at this gathering; one of these big shows people can’t stop talking about these days. I decided to have a blast all through. It all went well until it got to some point at the after party, when I couldn’t help but get lost in the activities of a string of fans and one of our big names around. For lack of a better word, it was embarrassing. Some ladies and some guys who ofcourse, have a problem or two with which gender they belong to, just couldn’t get their hands off him. It became a little more embarrassing when, on his departure, his admirers didn’t give him a chance into his car! I bet after that night, he would see employing some fierce looking bodyguards as good investment.
That the limelight sucks out the privacy in one’s life should be a message entertainers and intending entertainers must come to terms with. Consequently, worry less about a regular life and if you get caught up in the web of a tireless crowd of fans, keep the smile on and say to yourself; “this is the life I chose.”